Here is a little fun fact of life, if we don’t consciously choose our struggle, life will choose it for us. Life has this insidious tendency to put challenge in our path, because without challenge we can’t grow and reach our greatest potential. One could argue that life, in its tough love kind of way, wants to see us achieve our potential and is continuously testing to see how much we want it. No matter what we pursue, “there’s a five-thousand-pound load of sh*t waiting for you” Mark Manson. If you think you are alone in this or that you are a special unicorn and it doesn’t apply to you, think again. Life doesn’t care if you are rich, poor, attractive or a good natured person, life will steer you right to that load of sh*t, whether you want it or not. The faster we realize this and make peace with it, the sooner we can actively choose our struggle because we are more likely to engage with these inevitable challenges in an optimistic way than if we let life choose the struggle for us. It is human nature to participate more eagerly if it is our choice to do so.
This brings us to the example of Frodo Beggins in The Lord of The Rings. The little hobbit from Bag End, Hobbiton, was living comfortably in his little village bubble of safety and little hobbit happiness, wanting to explore the world out there when he discovered the precious golden ring. He soon wore it and found out just how weirdly good it felt. He was warned by the wise wizard, Gandalf, that wearing the ring becomes addictive and will devour and take over his life if he is not careful. If you wear the ring, you will open up the door for evil to enter your life, because evil wants the ring for itself to take over the world and if you wear it, the ring will change you, he said. Skip forward a couple of chapters and Frodo chooses to go on a journey to destroy the ring right in the center of evil where it was created, and oh boy, did he choose a NEXT LEVEL five-hundred-pound of sh*t! In my opinion destroying the ring represents his mission and one that he chose, just by the way. What lessons can we learn from this J.R.R. Tolkien masterpiece? Let’s explore that, shall we.
Lesson 1: Choosing your struggle will empower you with great tenacity and purpose
Like I mentioned earlier, Frodo bravely CHOSE to be the ring bearer, in other words he CHOSE his own struggle and it was no easy task because by choosing this struggle, he consciously put the fate of the world on his little hobbit shoulders. Even when times got tough, and I mean being hunted down by dragon riders called Nazgul tough, he remained focused and determined to destroy the ring, even if he has to make the ultimate sacrifice, his life. You and I might not choose a struggle of such great magnitude and have the rath of Nazguls bearing down on us, but a struggle with loads of challenges it will inevitably be. For example, if you choose to start your own business you have to figure out what you want to sell, how you are going to market your product, where you are going get the finances for the startup, how you are going to structure your day to be productive, figuring out how to overcoming procrastination, oh dear god, don’t get me started on procrastination. If you choose to have a pet, you have to figure out how often and what to feed it, find time to actually play with it, find a suitable and authentic name and cleaning the mess they make. So for all the pet-lovers out there, more power to you. Dear reader, before you dump the whole stinky litterbox on my head, hear me out. The point I’m trying to make here is if you are consciously choosing the wonderful life changing experience of adopting a pet, starting a business, moving out of your parents house or trying to loose the extra 5kg of weight, you have to know that it doesn’t come without challenges, but by CHOOING it for yourself, you will overcome the challenges that comes with the thing you choose with more passion, tenacity and purpose. Everything has its own face planting hurdles to jump over, all of life works like this. Consciously choose and you won’t mind doing the nitty-gritties to make it happen.
Lesson 2: We cannot do it alone
A lot of life is about relationships because of the support, recourses, sense of belonging, awareness of our blind spots, love and encouragement it offers and we must also offer to others. Frodo could not take on the journey without the selfless support and moral direction Sam offered to him and the physical direction Smeagol provided. Not to mention the suicidal distraction the other members of the group offered, in order for Frodo to slip into Mordor undetected. Countless times Sam stopped Frodo from the insidious, never ending temptation to put on the ring and drawing evil to them that would sabotage the whole mission to save “the world as we know it”. Just like Frodo, we all need our own Sams and Smeagols to keep us honest, in line with our mission, and provide us with emotional support. Sometimes it comes in the form of emotional support and encouragement, other times it is celebrating our successes with us or just being a calming presence in the middle of the load of sh*t we find ourselves in. Conversely, we must also strive to be the Sam or Smeagol in the lives of those we love and care for. That, dear reader, is powerful and will carry us through life’s greatest challenges in pursuit of our own mission and purpose.
Lesson 3: It gets the hardest just before we reach “success”, and then it continue…
Choosing our own struggle is like choosing to climbing a big ass mountain, what starts off as a fun journey, then gets grueling and tedious, our legs get shaky and our mouths get dry, and then finally we get to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and a sweet ass picnic with a marvelous view, but then you still need to get down. As Frodo, Sam and Smeagol persisted with their journey, their food supply ran out, it got harder and harder to sleep and Frodo got more and more tempted to give up, put on the ring and claim it for himself. Frodo lost his mind, accused and told Sam to kindly f#@k off. He got all cocooned by a nasty, huge spider and barely had any strength left to climb the last part of the mountain to finally destroy the ring, and all the evil it represents, for good. Again, if it wasn’t for the support of Sam he could never have made it to the top. As he was about to through the ring into the scorching fire and destroy it, the temptation to divert from his mission got even stronger every second. We all experience this to variant degrees in our own lives during the struggle we have or have not chosen. It gets hardest just before we achieve our goals. When we do achieve our goals, we feel a deep sense of “hell yeah” satisfaction and accomplishment. Then life sneaks back in and like the voice of a good commercial says “but wait, there’s more” and we have to dig deep, climb back onto the horse’s back and find the courage to continue on with new challenges that inevitably gets yanked our way, and dearest reader, it is the only way forward!
In conclusion, Life is a exciting journey, full of sh*t loads along the way, and if we consciously choose our struggles and solve the challenges that comes with it, we find purpose and a sense of “my life actually means something”, not to mention self confidence and a feeling of accomplishment that comes along with it all. So remember, we all need to choose, and the the emphasis is on CHOOSE, what we are willing to struggle for, we all need relationships to support us along the way and be that for someone we love an care for. Last but not least, the journey will get hardest right before you reach the top of your mountain, so persist, solve challenges, celebrate successes and keep on moving forward.
Please comment and tell me about your own load of sh*t journey if you wish to do so. Thanks for reading.
